no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
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you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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