It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
