I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
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"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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