guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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