Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
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A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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