The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
