It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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