I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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