So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
