sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
no, he came in my armpit
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize