this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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