How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
