john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
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Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He shit in the fireplace
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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