Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
