You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
