I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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