I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
