Pants 0. Shit 1.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
