didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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