man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize