Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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