can we get nightvision for the apartment?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
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I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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