I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
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I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
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Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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