Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
