why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
