Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
