I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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