You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
