and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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