Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
