just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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