By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Screwed.edu
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
