Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
