I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
