she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
