My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
