thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
