I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
