He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
