Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
