im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
