i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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