hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
