I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
