I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
