this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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