Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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