if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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