If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
