well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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