it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
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i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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