when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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