Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
