I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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