so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Pants are for mortals
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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