Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
