idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
