:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
