I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
