and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
