hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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