u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
