Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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