I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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