As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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