All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
