I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
