so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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