i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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