Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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